I don’t balance my checkbook. I can’t remember the last time I did.  I’m a personal finance blogger who has a budget, but I don’t balance my checkbook.  One of the first lessons I learned about personal finance was how to balance a checkbook.  My mom sat me down and had me help pay the bills with her checkbook so I would learn.  I believe I was 11 or 12.

Amount in checking, write in all checks cleared, and then see balance.  This was to prevent me from spending money we didn’t have.  The realization that just because a check hasn’t cleared doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be accounted for.  And just because you have $x of dollars, doesn’t mean you should be preplanning to pay $x for mortgage, utilities, etc.

So what happened?

Well I got lazy.  Truth is that I write maybe one check a month.  I withdraw $80/month in cash near the first for our allowances of eating out lunch.  Everything else we charge.  So I have one credit card bill at the end of the month to pay in full.

I don’t have any auto-debits on my checking account, but I do have autopayment of our cell phone and cable bills to my credit card.  On the first of every month I pay all our bills.  I pay utilities, mortgage, HOA, property taxes, and all credit card bills.  Everything is early and we work mostly a month ahead.

But it’s a habit from being paid once a month.  It’s easier to just pay your bills and let the next month’s salary build up to pay next month’s bills.  Thus I don’t track any checks or payments after the 1st.  On the first, I know I have to pay $X and I should have enough in my checking.

Thus I stopped tracking my bills.  The only bill I pay by check are my doctor who doesn’t take credit cards.  I have a check cut from my account for my HOA, property taxes, and utilities saving me a stamp since the bank pays for those checks to be mailed.

So I have honestly stopped budgeting my checking account.  I do budget and track my expenses. I see if we’re on track for the month using an excel spreadsheet.  I preplan all known expenses a year out.  But I find it unnecessary to balance my checkbook anymore.

Do you?

June was not a bad month.  It’s looking like maybe we won’t have such terrible losses this year in our investments.  That’s not to say we’re going to be making money but it just might be a breakeven year.  Our retirement accounts are at $98k combined.  Sigh the goal was last year to break $100k and with the losses that hadn’t happened.  It’s up $2k from last month and I think we’ll hit it this year unless the market tanks again.

We did a lot of spending this month however. We paid around $1500 for our cars 90k service and repairs. $500 for necessary dental work, I had a crown replaced. $100 tuning up my bike for riding. $200 on musical tickets, and $200 on our backyard. What a month. But I think that was our budgeted spending for the cars for the year, $200/month repairs and maybe one more oil change and possibly new tires later in the year.

I’ve found I budget approximately the right amount, but we always end up spending it in one go. So I have to “pay” myself back.

Grace from GracefulRetirement asks the question “Why is the answer to the economy to take away benefits from the poor, instead of expanding them to the middle class?”  She later referenced an article about Washington Post “High Cost of Poverty” article.  She says she understands it’s envy that causes us to say “people on welfare get too many freebies.”  That we’re helping everyone in foreclosure but what about the responsible people who pay their mortgage?

Trust me I’ve wondered about that as well.  And yep it’s envy talking.  Thinking about all the freebies people seem to get, the $500/month foodstamps, etc.  But here’s the lowdown truth.  Between my mom and my best friends mom who both helped people get welfare in different ways, it sucks to be on welfare.

One of the reasons is that it’s demeaning.  It’s also tiresome.  People make the assumption that it’s easy to live off government dole.  I don’t think it is. I think that it’s really not that nice a lifestyle.  I mean it’s nice because you don’t have to work.  But it’s not like you get the luxuries in life the rest of us really enjoy.  I doubt they go to the movies or have cable necessarily.  But I could be wrong.

I don’t want to have to be living on a shoestring personally.  Only being able to live in Section 8 housing areas.  Not being able to afford a car or choose my own food. I’ll have a budget determined by someone else.  There are lot of restrictions imposed.

Would you want to go to a laundromat?  Or ride a bus?  Or shop only for clothes at a thrift shop?  Also the doctors you can visit is limited because not all doctors take medicare.  So you’re stuck with doctors who accept medicare.  Nor can you afford better.

Is being on government dole really all it’s cracked up to be?

You always see ads for 0% financing on cars, furniture, medical bills, or other big ticket items.  Often times it is dependent on your credit score or being approved for a store credit card.  Yet is it worth it?  Do you really save money?  Should you do it?

I say it depends.  Mostly it depends on where you are getting the 0% financing from.  I’ve read suggestions about asking for a cash discount.  That people are able to get 5-10% just by asking.  In my experience that hasn’t happened.

First off I asked my dentist for a discount if I paid cash for my share of my crown replacement.  His office manager said if I didn’t have insurance we could work out a deal. But since I had a pre-negotiated rate with my insurance it would not be ethical to get a discount after the insurance company paid 60% of the cost.  So I understood.  But I was offered 0% financing for 1 year.  I turned it down because it was $475 and not worth the effort.  But I believe that if I had needed to get a lot of work done, say $2k, the 0% financing might have been worth it.  And in this case there was no discount for paying in cash.

Second, I bought a washer/dryer set from Best Buy.  We knew we were moving 6 months beforehand, so I began watching the price of the set I wanted.  I kept a price book to track the cycle.  Eventually right before we moved in the lowest price hit and an offer of 2 years @ 0% interest financing.  We took the deal.  I did ask for a cash discount, and was told by the assistant manager, Best Buy does not negotiate as a national chain.  They might negotiate on a damaged appliance but there were none for me to buy.  So we went with the 0% financing for 2 years.

In both cases the 0% financing might have been worth it.  I’m still looking for a place that will give me a cash discount.  I always ask because we always have the cash.  But maybe because we live in a HCOLA they don’t do deals.  Maybe because we shop at mostly chain stores like Best Buy, Costco, IKEA, Macys.  We haven’t hit the mom and pops for items like a tv, sofa, etc.  I don’t know.

Have you ever done 0% financing?  If so from where?  And have you ever gotten a cash discount?  If so from where?  Have you ever gotten a cash discount specifically from a national chain store?  I’d really love to know.

Slinky asked a great question last week, how do you track your spending if you have a joint account between two people?  Do you budget short term?  Long term?  Weekly?  She asks because as a part of a couple with separate accounts she says isn’t it tough to know whose spending what, when?  She says that separate finances works great because then the spender can spend and the saver can save; unless there is no income.  Then it becomes a problem.

Well in joint budgeting, I am going to explain how I do it.  We both spend money on a credit card.  I pay off the credit card in full every month.  We don’t overspend on any category because I track our spending.  Now how do we not overspend?

First off, we communicate our purchases.  That’s not to say we’re asking permission.  NO.  What we’re doing is informing the other person that we are going grocery shopping or we went grocery shopping and spent $35.  Now if it’s a big purchase we do discuss it, say over $100.  However, I think that discussing purchases over $100 is probably a reasonable rule of thumb for ALL couples whether they keep money separate or joint.  You are a couple after all, and even if the money is never combined doesn’t mean that it can be spent without consideration to future goals.

Second, I reconcile the spending when it happens.  This is necessary because even if I were single I’d have a budget for my credit card.  In able to not go over, I treat my credit card like a checking account.  It’s how I was taught by my mother.  Just because it was spent on the credit card doesn’t mean it’s not REAL.  No, it’s just like I cashed a check from my checking account.  I need to account for the money spent PERIOD.

Thus, all expenses are reconciled as spent.  I keep an excel spreadsheet to track each category, but the money is already spent before it even posts to the credit card statement.  My DH was the same way prior to meeting me.  This is necessary for anyone who uses a credit card and doesn’t want to pay interest.

But let’s say I used a debit card, I’d still reconcile all money debited as spent even if didn’t show up on the account.  But how to reconcile?  This is where communication comes into play.

My DH tells me I have these receiepts or I bought $x online.  If he weren’t married he’d be reconciling it himself, I just happen to do it for him.  So we’re constantly on top of our spending.  Is it necessary?  Yes if you want to stick to a budget.

Unless you are 100% cash, and even then you may have to write checks for utilities and mortgage payments, it’s pretty hard to not reconcile a checkbook or credit card as a single person.  You have to track your spending to see if you are on track to spend $200/month on groceries.  Or $200/month on eating out, you get the idea.

To us, it doesn’t matter who spends the money.  The money is spent.  We’re not here to nitpick over the details.  We have a joint budget of X, Y, and Z.  We stick to it jointly.  We also don’t just go out and spend $100 on something because we have our own account and we can.  Our efforts are joint and mutual.

My question to separate financers, how can you be sure that you are saving equivalent amounts?  What happens if one person gets into a car accident and can’t afford to replace their car?  Won’t the other partner pony up the money?  Or is there a bit of resentment for not saving more?  Do you split vacations? What happens if one person can afford a more expensive vacation than the other?

I understand the type of couples who have all money joint and two small separate accounts for fun money.  NOT a large portion of the budget.  But I wonder about couples who have a small joint account or take turns paying for this bill versus that bill.  When you lose an income how can it be fair?

I guess with a joint account, it’s all ours.  It’s all either for the greater good or not.

A neat article on MSN whether it’s cheaper to fly or drive?  There really are a lot of factors involved in making that decision.  My roommate is an avid traveler and frequents travel and flying message boards.  He’s talked to me about people doing “mileage” runs where they go on a trip solely to accumulate the miles because the airfare is so cheap over a weekend!  Imagine flying from NY to Thailand for $200 just to score miles!

But the reality is with gas prices creeping up, is it worth it to drive for a vacation or fly?  My DH and I struggle with this all the time.  Since we’re always a couple traveling we have to determine how much it would cost us to drive.  Sometimes you do the more expensive option for the experience.  What do I mean?  My roommate is an amateur pilot.  He loves getting hours flying and splitting the cost with people.

One particular trip takes 3 hours to drive, but costs around $500 to fly for the whole trip.  Even with gas at $4/gallon it would cost my DH and I $250 to fly versus $80 to drive.  No brainer right?  But surprisingly my roommate has actually found a ton of people willing to shell out substantial more for the experience of flying.

But how to determine whether to fly or drive?  Like the article my DH and I pretty much drive if it’s within an 8 – 10 hour drive.  Why?  The flexibility.  We can leave when we want and stop when we choose.  Typically 8 hours drive is a 2 hour flight, with getting to the airport, waiting around, getting luggage, etc, a 2 hour flight easily turns into 4 hours.  One big incentive with for us, is if we drive we can also take our dogs.  Flying with pets is expensive and hard on the pet.  We may end up boarding the pet, but we have the option of boarding them nearby to where we are staying or going camping.

Also it depends on the type of trip we’re taking. If we are going somewhere that we need to rent a car, then driving often wins even if it takes a bit longer and might cost more.  But honestly I sort of like roadtripping.  I enjoy the journey of chilling with my DH in the car, listening to music, and talking.

What’s your cutoff?

In March the New York Times wrote Even at Megastores, Hagglers find no price set in Stone.  Last week the New York Times followed it up with an article called Haggling at Best Buy; How can we make TV work?  When was the last time you heard this happening?

Personally I haven’t made any large purchases in 2+ years.  We bought our washer/dryer and TV in 2005 and couch in 2006.  Both times I asked for cash discount or any discount.   I got free delivery and no sales tax.  Nothing spectacular.  For the couch I had a $100 off coupon to boot and got 0% financing on both deals for 12-24 months.  I don’t normally haggle, I just ask for the best price and deal.

What I’ve noticed is that at Best Buy they will throw in stuff like free 3 year warranty, free delivery, or no sales tax.  They don’t like to lower the price unless it’s an open box item or return or damage.  But those items of course can be hard to find.

But these two articles imply that haggling is back.  That it’s worth asking for discounts even if you pay with a credit card.  I’ve heard from people that car dealers are nearly giving away new cars.  People have mentioned on money message boards that new cars are going for $500 or $1k more than a used 2 year old car!  Dealers have so much inventory and incentives this year.

I can’t help but think it’s the economy.  I know I’m not alone in thinking, there’s no way I will be buying a big ticket item unless mine breaks.  I would like a new car but it’s not a great idea with the tenuous job situation.  I don’t know many people who are buying new cars, tvs, or taking lavish vacations. Actually that’s another place deals can be had.  Vacations.

So is it time to start haggling?  Have you bought anything and haggled the price down this year?  Did you try it before with success?  Or is this a new trend?

Gas prices are on the rise again.  The average price is $2.67/gallon.  Yes it’s a lot lower than last year’s peak of $4.11/gallon.  Last year I noticed a huge uptick in people riding public transit.  It’s come way down this year and I haven’t seen an uptick yet.

But how will rising gas prices affect you?  Will you change your driving habits?  Or did you change your driving habits last summer and never reverted back?

Last year I said I wasn’t changing my driving habits really.  My DH drives to work/school and back.  We take the car out as needed on the weekends and went on driving trips instead of flying.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  In fact, when people were buying newer, fuel efficient cars, we refused and stuck with our older cars.

However, I will admit that this could be a great year to buy a newer, fuel efficient car.  According to Aryn from SoundMoneyMatters, here are some details with the fuel efficiency bill.  This tax credit combined with dealers just trying to give away cars, it makes sense if you were going to replace your car soon to do it this year.

Personally?  I have two older cars that get pretty decent gas mileage.  The Corolla 30 mpg city and Focus 27 mpg city.  They have been well maintained and run well.  If we need a bigger car we can just rent one.  So why would we buy a newer model of what we have for say $12k?  We’re better off running our cars into the ground.

But with gas on the rise should we change our strategy?  What will you do with the rise in gas prices?

Slate had an article talking about how the recession is wrecking friendships.  The articles gives a few different examples of how the economy is affecting people and their relationships.  The article suggests that the sudden changes in people’s circumstances are making it difficult to navigate friendships.

The first example was a woman who just bought a house and has life going pretty well, is finding it difficult to talk to her friend who just lost her job.  I have to say I understand.  It’s not easy.  You can’t say life is going great, I have a fantastic job, just got a bonus/raise; when someone else just got their pink slip.  I’ve been listening to this from quite a few friends who have been laid off.  My only answer has been to just listen.  Not to talk, but listen. I’m not sure if that’s the right answer.  I certainly don’t avoid them, but I also don’t tell them life is great.  I definitely feel a bit uncomfortable saying that.

The second example was a woman called Anna, who used to be very generous and help out friends. Now that she’s falling on harder times, her friends call her selfish.  I don’t understand her friends.  They must not be real friends if they can’t understand she’s struggling along with everyone else.  Where is their compassion and understanding?

The last example is the severing of accidental friendships. Losing connections with people who you used to work with.  This I think isn’t necessarily painful, but it can be detrimental to finding another job.  This is something that we should all focus on because these types of friendships are actually networking opportunities.  It’s worth trying harder to keep up.

But unlike the article, I don’t think money is necessary to have a meaningful friendship. You don’t need to pay for a glass of wine out.  Nor do you need to go out to fancy meals. I think money isn’t the reason these friendships are lost.  Rather it’s not putting the effort to maintain the friendship and listen.  To share with your friend the ups and downs of the situation rather than just the good times.

Friendships are like marriage, it’s not about being perfect all the time.  Rather it’s being able to work out the problems.

Grace from GracefulRetirement talked about Not-So Financially Responsible Grown-up Kids.  She references an Ask Amy post about the topic of parents helping out adult children.  Two parents wrote it asking Amy, if it were unreasonable to ask their adult children to split the dinner meal out.  These children were more financially secure than the parents, and often spent money traveling or eating out.  Their friends found them unreasonable in expecting their children to pay.  Other people have said “Parents always pay.”

Amy’s answer: When you start doing well, a privilege of your success is your ability to begin picking up the tab.  She says there is a point where the children should want to acknowledge their parents work and sacrifice; as well as their success.  She says just tell your kids you can’t go afford to treat them to a meal out.

Grace says that she is in the position of being more successful than her children, and often finds herself helping them out. Not on a large scale, she estimates $600/month, which is a lot, but that people without adult children or children in general wouldn’t understand.  But she says she prioritizes it and she wonders what happens when she can’t afford it?

My thoughts?  I think it’s nice to treat your parents are you become financially able to.  I think it’s also very nice if you have a generous family to gift you with cash or presents.  The problem really only arises if there are “expectations” of money or gifts.  I have a lot of “well off” friends.

Those who irritate  me are the ones who “expect” their parents to shell out $30k for their wedding.  And then expect a down payment for their house.  Or expect a huge inheritances.  Those who are surprised or very gracious about these gifts are lot more tolerable.  I believe that people with expectations will eventually run into trouble if they aren’t bailed out by the parents. If they fall on hard times or get caught in an unexpected situation, they won’t know how to deal with it.  So sometimes the generous behavior of family can be more of a hindrance than a help.

However, what about parents who expect their children to pay for them when the children are not financially able to as of yet?  Or children who support their parents?  Is that unfair as well?  The expectations of parents to be supported and cared for by their children?

To wrap up, my mom often tells me how thrilled she is none of the 4 kids are asking them for money.   None of us got help for a home down payment, student loans, car loans, etc.  I didn’t get help for my wedding, but my mom and dad “gifted” us with the same amount they had given the other 3 kids for their wedding.  She says all the time she hears about parents complaining about having to give their children $50k or $100k for a home or wedding or car.  And how they can’t retire because they have to keep supporting their children.  Thus she realizes if she were supporting any of us, she’d probably still be working instead of retired at 55.