Prior to this week I would have to say I’m a pretty frugal person naturally. I look for deals, watch my pennies, and try to make wise financial decisions. But then you have a kid and suddenly a few things change. Suddenly it feels like time is of an essence. That you need to have convenience instead of saving every buck. That you are pressed for time, so you take a short cut instead of the cheapest route.
Not to mention once you have a kid, you also go crazy afterwards, thinking about all the stuff you want to have for your child. When your pregnant it’s easy to deny yourself things and say they are too expensive. But then after you have the baby, it’s either the hormones or the sleep deprivation that causes you to decide there isn’t anything too expensive or crazy to have. Although I have to wonder what is it that affects men? Is it just the fact that it’s your baby?
I am going to admit to succumbing to spending. My DH and I were borrowing an infant car seat. One day of carrying it and we gave in and bought a travel system. We went to costco and bought the infant system for $149.99, which came with a stroller, car seat, and two bases. Yep, we could have struggled with the infant seat and no stroller and one base as a freebie, but due to circumstances we gave up. At this point she’s using it daily and it’s saving me a lot of hassle and stress. I caved to pressure and spent money instead of saving it. The truth is it’s actually a time and energy saver suddenly became more important than money.
Have you ever felt this way? When did time become more important than money? Or has it never happened?
10 responses so far ↓
1 bogart // Feb 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm
Oh yes. One splurge I remember was the $40 I paid to buy a (new! off the internet!) mobile for my son’s crib, at a point in time when having one that would run on battery power for 15 minutes (as opposed to the one I’d gotten as a hand-me-down that ran after being wound up for 3 minutes) meant the difference between a happy baby with a calm, showered mom versus either a happy baby/unshowered mom or unhappy baby/harried-but-showered mom. Best $40 I ever spent. Of course you’re not to that point yet (where a mobile would be useful). Ironically, when I later bought a used crib on Craigslist (we used a bassinet when DS was little), the seller threw in, free, a mobile identical to the one I had bought.
I didn’t have the option of a respectable used carseat, as you did, and we bought the travel system … well worth it, IMO — we definitely made use of extra bases and the stroller; all did good service for what we paid (similar price).
2 Forest // Feb 4, 2010 at 7:58 am
It sounds like you made a good spending decision to me…. all those items will make your life a little easier with the new baby so I wouldn’t call it a non-frugal move. It’s improved your frugalness in the fact of saving you time and hassle and it’s important to find balance.
We spend all this time being frugal and saving so we can do things like that and not have any guilt
3 Megan // Feb 4, 2010 at 11:01 am
Being a relatively new parent myself, I love seeing what people say before they have the baby and then after. Not because I don’t admire people’s goals or I think that I know better, but because I have been there and you can’t possibly understand how different your life will be – yet how natural it all will seem.
I think that $150 is money well spent – you’ll use the stroller a lot and it will work for years to come and the convenience is key. I can’t imagine buckling that thing into a car all the time, it was bad enough on a vacation. Being able to transfer it from car to stroller and keep her sleeping was crucial to my sanity.
That said – you will return to your frugal ways once again – and I’m sure there will be some differences from your DINK life – but that’s why you save your money and live frugally, so that you can provide well for your family and not feel badly about it. And you can pick where and on what you want to spend your money without feeling pressured. Also, you’ll find that your lifestyle will change enough – you’ll spend less in some areas so you can absorb the new spending areas.
4 Lynn // Feb 4, 2010 at 12:00 pm
You need to do things that make life easier when you have the baby…sometimes money comes as the sacrifice. We bought a twin baby jogger for our girls – it was over $500. When I bought it I cringed because it was more expensive than anything that we bought for our girls. BUT, it was the best investment we ever made.
As far as the travel system goes, you made a much better choice. Besides not wanting to gamble with the safety of your child, you will get a lot of use out of the travel system. It was a life saver with my twins!
5 LAL // Feb 4, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I’m going to admit that we are going to the pediatrician daily, and thus the convenience is impossible to really measure. Honestly I thought we could manage without, but it is saving my physical well being.
From the worry and the stress I’m already going white in 2 weeks…..
6 bogart // Feb 4, 2010 at 2:47 pm
“It is saving my physical well being.”
The impact of the sleep deprivation (etc.) in those early days is brutal. You’re doing the right thing! Plus if memory serves you are bf’ing … you need to conserve (what’s left of!) your strength while your body adjusts to the new demands being placed on it. In those first months taking care of mama = taking care of baby (what amazes me, honestly, is that we exist as a species at all … not in modern times, but how did we manage as hunter-gatherers? It astounds me…).
7 Kristy // Feb 5, 2010 at 5:57 am
LOL! You will end up spending more than you think….you always do when kids enter the picture. Don’t worry about it. After the first year you will get back to being your frugal self…until then, sleep when the baby sleeps and take care of yourself!
8 Megan // Feb 5, 2010 at 9:56 am
Oh gosh – I assume you are going daily for weight checks? Breastfeeding is hard – it takes so much out of you – and it’s so stressful when your baby isn’t gaining weight right away. Good luck – she’ll start getting chubby soon!
9 LAL // Feb 5, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Bogart me too! I am starting to feel much better finally. I am kicking off my cold and other pregnancy related symptoms.
Kristy, I bet I will spend a lot more than I expected.
Megan, daily for weight checks, jaundice, and other preemie related issues. We had a lot of issues because of the delivery and somehow money just isn’t important.
Hence probably why I am running around spending money buying everything I thought I had time to buy leisurely.
10 eemusings // Feb 7, 2010 at 11:41 pm
When I’m sick! If I’m ill, the budget goes out the window. Not just on meds, but food (getting stuff that I can eat, or feel like eating if I’m feeling really picky).
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