Dog from DogAteMyFinances, recently lost her job. But her most recent post talks about Invisibility and no longer being seen by friends. That she is feeling the defeat. That she is feeling abandoned. I think there is even more than just all of that. It’s a loss in some ways of your identity.
I’ve been through layoffs, 3x to be honest. Sigh. All right after the tech bust of 2000, jobs were hard to come by then as well. It was a struggle. Many of my friends went back to school instead of looking. They were promised jobs when they came out. Then they did and worked hard. Fast Forward to 2008 and 2009. They are now losing their jobs.
At least where I live, there are so many people out of work that there is no stigma. The industry I am in is so cylical, most of the people I work with have been laid off multiple times. Some like my DH have gone back to the same company that laid him off previously.
So did we feel the same invisibility that Dog is talking about? Not really. Why? I think part of it, is it sounds like Dog had a small layoff in a pretty niche market. For myself, when layoffs came they came by the boatload. We’re talking entire departments, few hundred people at once. So it was easy to still see people. We had all been laid off together. Instead I got invites to job fairs, coffees, lunches, etc. Networking!
But what I found was that everyone felt lost over their identity. They could no longer say their career was “X”. And now in 2009, it seems like everyone is feeling this way. Unsure if they can find jobs in their fields. Wondering if it’s time for a career change? The identity you have as being a teacher, banker, lawyer, etc is gone. The very first introductory sentence you say is My name is LAL, and I’m a ….
I think that’s a huge part of the despair. The wondering who or what defines you. I know a job shouldn’t define you, but it does. It influences where you live and who you associate with. That being unemployed I think is more defeating, not from the money but the sense of loss. That and wondering if you’ll find another?
But I hope Dog can buck up and move forward. Go check out her blog, maybe hearing from some new readers will raise her spirits.
Do you have any thoughts on unemployment or stories to share?
8 responses so far ↓
1 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com // May 4, 2009 at 9:39 am
I have only been laid off once.. and it was when I was a web designer for a college. They wanted to make everything uniform on their site under ONE designer and hired a firm to change all the individual faculty pages to make them look cookie cutter
*rolls eyes*
Other than that, I’ve quit all of my other jobs …
I have a different sort of unemployment — I am off contract meaning I don’t have any work right now, but while I am still employed (self-employed), it feels weird to not go to work every day and have people look at you curiously when you shop for groceries at 10 a.m. on a wednesday.
They almost want to ask me what I do, but I think they all have just assumed I’m a student
2 Meg from FruWiki // May 4, 2009 at 11:17 am
I work from home, mostly for/with my husband right now so it’s not like I get a paycheck every two weeks. It’s not what I had planned in life, but life didn’t go as planned and for various reasons it’s turned out to be a really good option for us. But the hardest part has been trying to find my identity.
Back in college, I was a star student and graduated top of my very large university class. I was used to being surrounded by people who wanted my help on things like explaining the homework. And NO ONE would have accused me of being lazy
Graduating was tough. Things are a lot less structured now. It’s not really easy to explain what I do sometimes. And no matter how much I explain all that I do to people, I still get responses like, “Wow, it must be so great to not have to worry about a job!” Not to mention that look like I just sit around eating bon-bons all day. I’m lucky if they think I’m a housewife — which I’m definitely not, at least not in the domestic arts way, or else I’m a really crappy housewife. And since we have no kids and no plans for them, that “housewife” title doesn’t get quite the same respect as it would have otherwise.
It took me a while, but I’ve finally realized that despite what others may think, I’m really my husband’s business partner. And there’s absolutely no shame in that!
3 Velvet Jones // May 4, 2009 at 11:56 am
It seems the problem is linking your identity to a single thing. Be it a job/career, being a parent, married, etc. If you invest your sense of self-worth into just one thing and that thing goes away, then what?
Finding value in other things about yourself aside from your job appears to be a good lesson to learn.
4 LAL // May 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm
FB, it is amusing to do stuff middle of the day and have people wonder.
Meg, you sound like a very good partner for your husband.
VJ, I agree what is deals with is tying up your identity for one thing.
5 Meg from FruWiki // May 4, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Awww, thanks LAL!
6 LAL // May 5, 2009 at 11:27 am
Your welcome!
7 dogatemyfinances // May 5, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Thanks for the thoughts. This has been a lot tougher on me than I expected.
8 LAL // May 6, 2009 at 9:57 am
Good luck Dog!
Leave a Comment