MSN put together 5 financial rules to talk about before you start cohabitating with your significant other. Some of these rules don’t really seem financial, more relationship based. But it’s worth talking about because it can have significant financial impact on your life.
First have the “relationship” talk before you move in. Basically it’s making sure both people are on the same page. Are we getting married or are we moving in for convenience sake? How long will this last for?
Second, decide who pays for what. This is pretty obvious. The article suggests handling money differently if you make about the same amount versus different amounts. They also suggest a joint credit card. I think a joint checking account rather than a credit card would be better. One in which both people can send money into from their own individual accounts instead of a credit card. Also before you move in, now would be the time to run a credit report on the other person.
Third, the article suggest divvying up the chores. Setting ground rules. Sounds good, but the only financial aspect I can see here is whether or not to pay for a maid? I think this should be approached the way you approach any roommate situation. Decide on what’s fair to all. Just because someone makes less, doesn’t make them the maid. From personal experience, no matter what I’ve made I’ve typically cleaned more because my DH is an excellent cook! His chores is cooking and mine unfortunately is cleaning.
Fourth, develop a breakup plan in advance. I think this is a sound idea, and even more necessary if you are purchasing a house or car together without being married. Decide what would be an equitable way to divide up the assets before hard feelings come into play.
Finally, the article states never move in with someone unemployed. It’s okay if they become unemployed, but don’t allow someone not working to move in with you. You’ll find yourself supporting them indefinitely. I’m not really sure this is the best advice. Why? Right now lots of hard-working people are unemployed and perhaps they are cohabitating because it’s cheaper. But are they are they really out for a free ride? It depends on person, situation, and couple.
Keep these rules in mind before you start cohabitating. I bet with the recession more couples are cohabitating out of financial necessity than true desire.
5 responses so far ↓
1 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com // May 2, 2009 at 2:45 pm
BF is the chef of the family. But he looooves to cook and hates to clean or do laundry, especially ironing.
I kind of enjoy doing laundry and iorning (except for the schlepping and waiting for the elevator) and
I don’t exactly HATE cleaning… but I clean once in a while and vacuum which is enough for BF’s tastes and mine because if he had it his way — he’d clean once a year, when it’s absolutely necessary before animals decide to come in and nest.
I like to be a bit cleaner than that.
BF is also the organizer and planner for our moving and groceries… and I’m the assistant. He planned everything for our move and loooves to pack.
I love planning and organizing as well, but he enjoys it more.
2 TStrump // May 4, 2009 at 2:02 am
Great tips!
I’d also never move in with someone unless I had a written ‘cohabitation agreement’ in place.
If you live with this person for years you could be considered common-law … look out if the relationship fizzles!
3 LAL // May 4, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I am more flexible and am willing to not have a written signed agreement but talking is essential.
I think right now more people might be cohabitating out of need not want.
4 Kristy @ Master Your Card // May 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I agree with LAL, I don’t think a written contract is necessarily important when you’re talking about a significant other, but communication is key. In my experience, people move in with each other – either out of necessity or on a whim – and there’s not much planning involved. I think that’s where a lot of the fights come into play.
These are great tips, all of them. While the dividing of the chores doesn’t directly impact finances, it does have an indirect impact. If the chores are not divided up initially, the person who makes the most may feel as though their job is more demanding and will slack off on the chore part. As you said, LAL, making less money doesn’t make the person a maid. However, if couples do have this discussion, it prevents a future problem where income gets brought into it. Because ultimately, that fight will suggest that one persona’s income is inferior to the other and that should not be the case at all.
5 LAL // May 5, 2009 at 11:32 am
Definitely. It could be that the person earning less works more hours but is just paid less hourly. It could also be the person earning less is in school trying to retrain.
Besides the point, how many couples have truly equal incomes at all points in their lives?
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