The always hotly debated topic is how to determine whether you are being Cheap or Frugal? Well FabulouslyBroke talks about a new subsection of this debate “The Cheap Opportunist.” She talks about her brother changing his spending habits based on whether he pays for the meal out versus being treated by someone else. She calls people who behave like that “Cheap Opportunist”.
What that means? Well it means you are cheap with everyone else but yourself. You aren’t just cheap with others AND yourself, rather you are willing to spend money on yourself. Sounds okay, that you are “thrifty” to enjoy your life. So where’s the problem? That these opportunist change their behavior based on whose paying.
I gotta say I agree. It’s one thing order a burger because you are saving money, but it’s completely wrong to order a steak because someone else is paying. To take advantage of someone else’s generosity. I think that’s the problem FB and myself have with being generous.
Generosity isn’t the issue. It’s how some people ABUSE the privilege. That they begin to “expect” to be treated out. Or will buy the most expensive item they would NEVER pay for themself because they are being “treated”. I have to agree these people have no idea of the words “give and take”.
It drives me nuts. I don’t quite understand why there can be so much reluctance on the part of these parasites to participate in normal human behavior. Nor do I think it should be necessary to shame them into paying their “portion” of the bill.
Honestly I’d rather pay for the whole bill than be shamed by the fact they don’t tip! But then sometimes my stubborn streak kicks in and I don’t reach for the check because damn it, THEY should pay sometimes. The fact they don’t speaks volumes about the relationship. FWIW, like FB, you can’t really disown family. You can try, but sometimes it’s next to impossible when the parasite is your parent or sibling or other close relative.
I gotta say, I agree with FB, worse than being cheap, is a being a cheap opportunist.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Fabulously Broke // Apr 20, 2009 at 10:39 am
THANK YOU.
I am not alone then… or the only one being suckered by her generosity. LOL
But I do feel sort of bad doing it.. just for like.. half a second. Before anger takes over and they should freaking whip out that wallet and pay once in a blue moon
2 kemkem // Apr 20, 2009 at 11:26 am
Oh My God!.. I am so happy to see this in print. It’s nice to know l am not alone. It got so bad with a particular “friend”, every time l would go to dinner towards the end of our friendship, my husband would make sure that l only took 40 dollars, just enough to cover my bill and tip. I used to carry 100 dollar bills or credit cards and as soon as she saw it, she would be like.. l’ll pay the next time, which of course never happened. It went like that for 4 years till my hubby got wind of the situation. Some people are just users and cheapskates l guess.
3 Kristy @ Master Your Card // Apr 20, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I think this kind of behavior is crazy! I can’t believe people would take such blatant advantage of generosity. Even on special occasions when someone else is paying for me, I’ve always ordered a modest meal. Frankly, I don’t see the point in paying premium on a steak that I could do better at home with, so I usually go with chicken. But, I just think it’s rude to order pricey items on someone else’s dime. And then, if they don’t even thank you for the meal…that’s just B.S. in my opinion. Some people, sheesh!
4 Kristy @ Master Your Card // Apr 20, 2009 at 1:29 pm
BTW, glad the site’s up and running again, LAL. I was missing it something dreadful while it was down! Damn hackers!
5 LAL // Apr 20, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Thanks a lot! And some of the worse offenders are FAMILY!
hint…hint…my in-laws.
6 Brandon // Apr 21, 2009 at 7:19 am
Great post, I have had a friend or two like this. Still my friends, but in this economy, I can’t afford to be taken advantage of.
Great read!
Thanks,
-TAM
7 JoeP // Apr 21, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Funny, I have a real hard time spending money on myself, but am generous when entertaining friends. For example, I don’t like going out for lunch because it is money I don’t need to spend. But I make up for it by going out someplace nice for dinner. I have a hard time going clothes shopping, but will drop $75 on a prime rib when company comes over.
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