A comment left for me, has me admitting I’m not frugal. Okay I’m not even going to pretend to be frugal anymore. NO WAY, NO HOW, NO LIE! I am not a frugal personal finance blogger. NOPE I like to spend money! I love buying things and gifts. I enjoy going on vacation.
In fact I’ve spent the past two weekends on vacation. I went away to a bed and breakfast so my DH could snowboard. Then during the long weekend we road tripped down to Washington DC and stopped along the way. We ate out. We bought gifts for people. We took friends and family out to dinner and I’m sure we blew around $500 on the weekend at least.
So there I’m admitting I’m not a frugal blogger. Don’t read this blog if you want to be frugal, because I’m not the blogger to read. I’m the blogger who enjoys spending money. I like buying good food, turns out, my DH now has to eat fish 3-4 times a week! Yep, according to the doctor we have to buy more expensive fish! He needs diet rich in omega fats for his condition.
I do not clip coupons and buy free food. I do clip coupons for toilet paper, body wash, toothpaste. But I don’t buy food just because it’s free! I eat out because I enjoy it. I also buy expensive foods like sashimi and serve it at home. I also buy expensive cheese because I like it. I also prefer fresh fruit and veggies to canned and frozen.
So I’m not frugal. I have cable, internet, and a home phone. I could easily cut them all and live austerely. Truth is I don’t. I don’t live austerely at all. I go on many vacations. And it’s not cheap. When traveling I blow tons of money on experiences.
I’ve spent thousands of dollars on trips and eating out. I can guarantee that what I’ve paid would have paid for my DH’s student loans. I can also guarantee that I could buy a new car with our spending. Or better yet, we could have paid off our mortgage down to $417k by now.
But the truth is I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT. I don’t want to live frugally. I don’t want to pinch every penny till it screams and live austerely. I do not want to stop vacationing. I do not want to stop eating fresh food.
So if you reading this and going, this blogger is crazy good. I’m real. The reality is, I like to spend money. I enjoy my life. I save, and if you read this blog, you’ll know I believe retirement and savings comes first. BUT after that I don’t try to save more. I spend my money. I can’t bring myself to save more.
By the way, even “cheap” hobbies are a waste of money. Every penny you spend on a book, yarn for crocheting, scrapbooking, board games, etc could go to pay off your mortgage. It’s not wrong to spend money on a hobby, say hiking boots, or camping gear, but it certainly makes life more fun and less austere. And to live truly frugally, you’d be giving up everything with the goal of being debt free including the mortgage. Owning everything you have. That you don’t owe anybody. Unfortunately that’s not me.
So this is not a frugal blog. This is a blog about saving wisely and spending money to enjoy life as well. Perhaps my priorities are wrong, but to me, life is worth living. And staying home in my house and counting every penny doesn’t make me happy.
So I’m going to admit I AM NOT FRUGAL!
28 responses so far ↓
1 tom // Feb 20, 2009 at 9:22 am
LOVE IT!
What’s the point in working your ass off if you cannot enjoy life!?
Just because some people are hurting from this recession doesn’t mean that those who aren’t cannot enjoy the fruits of their labor.
I’m with you 110% on this.
2 BBJ // Feb 20, 2009 at 9:29 am
frugality is totally overrated
if you don’t live a little along the way, what good will all the money in the world do you later on?
before anyone thinks i’m saying just do what you want, i’m not, just saying that there’s a balance to be found between saving and enjoying life
3 Fabulously Broke // Feb 20, 2009 at 9:49 am
Yup.
I’ve been saying that all along.. although when I had that debt monster in my path, I was singing a different tune, wanting to put every penny towards killing it.
Now, I just make conscious choices and spend where it makes me the happiest – food and tech.
4 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 20, 2009 at 10:22 am
Tom, I don’t know. But many people have asked why do I want to live large? That is probably a post for another day.
BBJ, I believe there are those who want to live frugally because then when they are debt free they can do what they want. I cheer for them. They are living the life they enjoy. And I am living mine.
FB, I feel frugal in someways. I shop deals, and try to use coupons. But I’m really not frugal compared to most people. I eat out, I have cable, I have a cell phone, I have two dogs. (dogs are like toilets, you flush money down the drain).
But seriously, here are many people who do live very frugally. And I just can’t do it.
5 SP // Feb 20, 2009 at 10:45 am
You could do it, if you had to, what I’m hearing is “I don’t have to be frugal”. And that is great!
If I were less frugal, I wouldn’t be able to save for retirement and such and the levels I think are important. That’s why I’m frugal-ish (when i am), but I balance with spending on what is importan.
6 BBJ // Feb 20, 2009 at 10:58 am
LAL, i would agree, i know a lot of people do it because they want to. my point is, much like you, i think a nice balance is the best way to go. i could easily save more now than i do, but it would be at the expense of actually getting some enjoyment out of life and i’d prefer to not do that.
personal example, 6 of my friends are getting married this year. i’m going to every wedding. i’ll have to fly to them all and being married, that means paying double for each of these flights. on top of flight costs, i’ll be getting rental cars and hotels each time. i could just send a gift and say sorry, can’t make it, but that’s not me. i’d rather spend the money to go than save it in this case.
7 JoeP // Feb 20, 2009 at 11:19 am
I think people look to frugality as a means to have more cash available, so they can pay down debt or do/buy something expensive.
I admit I am not frugal either. Our lifestyle is certainly more financially conservative than others, but we often do expensive things after saving for them.
Inferred from LAL’s post, you can stay sequestered in your house for 20 years eating mac and cheez just so you can pay off your mortgage, AND THEN go and have a good time. Another option: you can determine how much cash you have after expenses, and decide to save, spend, or pay extra principal toward a loan. Finally, you can go into debt by spending more than you earn.
The only way Living Large fits into the last is the size of the hole you’re digging.
8 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 20, 2009 at 11:35 am
SP, I don’t think I could be frugal. My DH would rebel. I think we’d be in debt first. I’m not sure he would comply with living how we’d have to live or he’d leave me. I might be willing to do it, but I’m not entirely sure.
BBJ, that’s exactly it. A frugal person likely wouldn’t go to the weddings. I’m with you, I would go. But then I enjoy that sort of thing. Maybe someone who doesn’t enjoy weddings wouldn’t.
Joe, but that’s it. If you aren’t paying down a mortgage with all excess cash, then how frugal really are you?
If you do any hobbies (not a bad thing), then you are spending money that could be going to debt. It’s a true lifestyle choice.
I prefer not to live like that. Do I believe people can? Yes, absolutely. I have meet on message boards people who live truly frugally. No eating out, no hobbies, no extras. BUT they enjoy it.
I wouldn’t and couldn’t.
9 tom // Feb 20, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Being frugal is a state of mind.
Someone who is “poor” could say they are frugal because they drive a very old car, clip coupons, etc.. That’s because they have to, they cannot afford spend anymore. I can guarantee you that poor person is trying to get out of their necessary frugality so they can live large(er).
Others are frugal because they choose to be.
Why do you want to live large (and still afford it)?
Because living large and enjoying luxuries is awesome! No one wants to NOT live as large as they can afford. It’s not worth the hard work to not enjoy it.
10 paranoidasteroid // Feb 20, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Actually, I would argue that you are frugal. Not in the way where you reuse Ziploc bags or make your own laundry detergent to save a few cents, but you do have a plan for how you spend. You have money that you put into savings and don’t spend. Spending less than you earn = frugality.
I think the realm of PF bloggers have turned frugality into this heaving mass of deprivation and tricks, like no dinners out and no vacations and clothes from Costco. I don’t think that’s what it’s about at all – it’s about taking care of savings and then blowing the rest of the money on the things that are important to you. If you don’t want a new car or don’t care about being debt-free, you can spend the money on travel.
Not buying a book or a boardgame so you can toss that $10 into savings, with the result that you sit at home watching the walls because you got rid of cable and don’t buy any non-essentials, is not frugal. It’s cheap and sort of weird.
That’s how I see it, anyway.
11 Meg from FruWiki // Feb 20, 2009 at 1:39 pm
LAL, frugality isn’t the same as being cheap or living like monk! Frugality is about reducing waste and focusing on value. If those things have particular value to you, then spending your money on them isn’t wasteful/unfrugal.
If you cut your grocery bill down by eating crappy food that is nothing but empty calories, then that’s not frugal because there’s no value!
12 Meg // Feb 20, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Woo Hoo! You go, you spendy girl.
Oh, and “DITTO.”
13 amy // Feb 20, 2009 at 2:47 pm
For me, being frugal means prioritizing spending—which is why I enjoy your blog so much! I grew up the oldest kid in a huge family in a small house and my mom had babies and raised kids; frugality was a necessity. I knew from a young age that this was not how I wanted to live!
My husband and I choose to live well below our means in a small condo so we can travel, eat really good yummy fresh food every night, watch trash tv on the flat screen, surf the web, download iphone games, and buy whatever recreational outdoor gear we want — bikes, all kinds of skis, snowboards, snowmachine, motorcycles, etc.
Husband has one daughter whose college expenses he is covering. Because he wants that for her; that’s why he only had one!
For us, living small lets us live large.
14 JoeP // Feb 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Never thought about frugality as meaning living below your means, but that does make sense.
I think some of it depends on what you consider to be an expense. For some, their expense is the minimum payment on debts, and monthly utilities. They have lots of free cash and Live Large.
Other do the same, but pay more toward debt, sock away money in an EF, maybe a car fund, and pay into retirement. They have available cash and are able to Live Almost Large.
Still others do all that, but crimp and save every last dime, live austere lives, and do little. They may have lots of money, but their lifestyle borders on obsessive frugality. They retire with lots of money in the bank, but do they know how to spend? Was it all “worth” it?
15 tom // Feb 20, 2009 at 4:29 pm
“But many people have asked why do I want to live large? That is probably a post for another day.”
I think it is too… how does Monday sound?
16 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 20, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Nope, got a lot of posts coming down the pipeline. We’ll see when it pops up Tom!
But I certainly can see how being poor you have no choices about being frugal.
Today my mom commiserated about teaching poor people to shop better with food stamps. Truth is when I was young we didn’t eat so well because we were poor. Choices with food were based on price not health. So though my mom knew it was unhealthy we still bought white bread instead of wheat. We were truly frugal because we had to be.
Paraasteroid, I agree that most PF bloggers have tons of tricks for saving money. And they do live pretty lean lives. I think they like it.
Meg FruWiki, one can argue I believe it has value. But according to many eating out or traveling is a luxury and it really is. So is cable tv. I choose to have the luxury, but it’s not a necessity, even if I think it has value.
Meg from World of Wealth, well I had to admit it finally. I’m not frugal.
Amy, that’s it. I enjoy spending. I feel some guilt knowing however that I could cut eating out completely and make an extra mortgage payment a year! But alas I don’t.
JoeP, you were the one who asked how frugal am I really? Here’s the truth, when I looked deep, not at all, sadly. But I like my lifestyle. I try to watch my expenses but the truth is I enjoy life way to much to cut stuff and live austerely.
17 Meg from FruWiki // Feb 20, 2009 at 10:55 pm
LAL, there is nothing wrong with enjoying luxuries — so long as you can afford them.
What people shouldn’t pay for are luxuries that they don’t particularly enjoy or even care about. Being frugal is about prioritizing your spending. I dropped cable ultimately because the money was more valuable to me and I enjoy the free options — even more than having cable, it turns out. But I’m not sacrificing fresh fruit and veggies if I can help it even if it’s cheaper to eat empty carbs. If I’m going to eat empty carbs, it better be some overpriced but well worth it chocolate treat
That doesn’t mean I’m not frugal, I just know what does it for me!
18 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 21, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Nice idea. Truth is it’s become sort of a game/status to be as frugal and live as austerely as possible.
That if you aren’t pushing every penny towards your debt, then you aren’t really frugal.
That if you spend money on eating out, better food (not coupon clipping), etc then you are potentially not saving as much as possible.
Or if you buy a new car instead of a used one.
Truth is that it isn’t frugal. Doesn’t make it wrong, but it’s still not frugal.
True frugality would be having only one car. But my DH and I keep our other car though it costs us $200/month.
No payment, but with insurance, maintenance, etc it does add up.
19 Meg from FruWiki // Feb 21, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I’m not saying that you are or aren’t frugal because ultimately that is for you to decide, but I don’t think you can say someone is frugal or not depending on a few examples of what they do or not do out of context. It’s all relative and it’s all about context and motives. Personally, I still think of frugality as a mind set, as being conscious about your spending of resources (including but not limited to money).
And sure, there are people who insist that you can’t be frugal if you aren’t doing everything they’re doing, but so freaking what? Why should we let THEM redefine frugality as just another shallow synonym for cheap?
20 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I can agree that it’s a mindset in someways. But the truth is Meg, that by putting it out there, I’m not.
Not by how many others who live austerely would define frugality. Is it wrong? No.
But it’s the truth, that I’m not living frugally. Nor will I change.
BUT I wouldn’t call them cheap. They are making a conscious decision to live like that and like it. IF they live frugally and complain, then they are cheap.
21 Meg from FruWiki // Feb 21, 2009 at 7:26 pm
That’s true, they aren’t all what I’d call “cheap” either. There I go stretching words, too!
People only become cheap in my opinion when they focus on price to the exclusion of value when they can afford to consider value. And then they’re miserly when they focus on saving money to the exclusion of charity for others. But eh.. those are just my definitions, lol.
22 LivingAlmostLarge // Feb 22, 2009 at 10:16 am
My definition would be when people force others to subsidize them! Cheap is going out to eat and not tipping properly!
Cheap is not paying your fair share. Cheap is forcing others to do something cheaper because you refuse to pay instead of politely refusing.
Cheap is not feeding your guests enough food because you feel it’s adequate rather than allowing them to determine what they want to eat.
Gosh this sounds like my in-laws.
23 JoeP // Feb 23, 2009 at 8:36 am
I don’t think anyone here is trying to convince someone else to embrace frugality as a way of life.
When one considers living large or almost large, then the responsible thing to do would be to have enough cash available to do this. For those without enough money to pay for whatever makes them happy, embracing frugal habits is one way to free up cash to help fund their ambitions. Other options include getting another job that pays more, or getting a loan.
For those who have built into their budgets the expenses associated with them living larger, there is little need to become frugal; the effort involved would exceed the benefit gained.
24 LAL // Feb 23, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I think it’s in the other post. Do you live as frugally as possible or blow $500/month on clothes?
The problem with that couple isn’t affording $500/month it’s whether they should? It’s 3.5% of their monthly income. Should perhaps in their case each spouse get 5% to “blow” on fun stuff? Whatever they want?
Or is it a matter of they should not be eating out 5% or shopping or spending 5% on stuff because that’s $700/month wasted money?
Or is it buying marital peace?
26 karla (threadbndr) // Mar 4, 2009 at 1:56 pm
To me frugality is making MINDFUL choices. To find the balance between future and present.
Sometimes (often) that means that my choice is not the cheapest option. I want higher quality food, and clothes that will hold together. And sometimes I can find good quality clothing at a thrift store or grow my own veggies and it IS the cheapest option. It’s all about balance.
But to have tons of unsecured debt and make only the minimum payment or tons of student loan debt and not be using a time of low overhead to reduce that loan isn’t balance in my view – in both cases, one is shorting the future.
On the other hand, to move across the line from frugal to cheap or miserly is shorting the present. If you plan and save, current travel or hobby expenses can be worked into any but the most austere budget. Now, that may mean a cabin at a state park and not a cruise every year, but that’s a matter of degree, not kind.
Again, it’s all about balance. LAL – to me, you are working on finding that balance. You save towards the future needs and you save for current enjoyment, not putting current wants on credit. You’re frugal enough in my book.
My problem with that young couple from the other day is that they are missing a huge opportunity cost to trade very low over head in their current living arrangement for future security by getting out from under a huge part of their student loan debt as fast as possible.
I hate debt, even ‘good’ types of debt like student loans and mortgages. Untill you have no one that you owe (save for taxes and insurance) and a large efund, you won’t be secure. It’s such a freeing feeling, and I’d like to see everyone possible to be there.
28 LivingAlmostLarge // Mar 5, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Karla thank you for annointing me frugal enough.
I’m guessing the young couple might get the condo for a down payment on their next home. I’ve found often times parents who can give those types of help often give more money than the couple lets on. It’s not a bad thing to get free money.
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