Comments on: Stay at home – loss of potential income

By: twenty something finances - January 26, 2009 | Good Financial Cents

twenty something finances - January 26, 2009 | Good Financial Cents — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:02:52 +0000

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By: LivingAlmostLarge

LivingAlmostLarge — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:16:42 +0000

Truly, I think SAH is a thankless job honestly. You get a lot of crap for very hard work.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:31:17 +0000

I think the more important questions are, do you enjoy playing with small children for several hours per day? or would you end up poking your eyes out after several hours of block play? Do you know how to encourage a child’s gross/fine motor skills, intellectual abilities and social skills? There’s a tendency in society to infer that it is easy but it is not a natural skill for everyone. But like everything if the desire is there, it can be learned and most of success is time spent on task anyway. ex if you want to be a great runner, run more. Also- kids need to play outside, is it really cold where you live? Do you enjoy playing outside when it’s 20 degrees outside??? Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of pluses, flexible schedule, easier to carve out time to exercise, etc. but I think it all comes down to how you want to spend your time.

By: FruWiki Meg

FruWiki Meg — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:17:08 +0000

Interesting connection, LAL! I almost joined the military myself. I wonder sometimes how my husband would have handled that, lol. He wasn’t the only reason why I changed my plans, but I think I knew deep down that he wasn’t prepared to follow me around the world. Not to say that he wouldn’t do it for me — but I don’t think he’d feel very good about it.

By: LAL

LAL — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:10:15 +0000

I agree it depends on the field. Interesting perspective Meg that you’ve improved your DH’s career by staying at home. I liken that to military wives who stay at home because they move so often it’s hard to get a job. Their jobs are caring for the families and moving when necessary on a minute’s notice.

By: fengshui

fengshui — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:31:56 +0000

I agree w/ you Meg about the SAHD thing being appreciated. If we decide that me working PT and DH working FT is too much, then my DH would stay home. It makes sense for us since I make more than twice what he does. My father would be disturbed by it, but I don’t care. He’s very old school.

By: FruWiki Meg

FruWiki Meg — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:02:28 +0000

@fengshui

Very true! I certainly don’t think our situation would work for everyone, though perhaps there are still a good number of people out there who could do what we do and just don’t know it. Either way, I know how lucky I am to have a husband who is so smart and talented, even if his business and people skills sometimes need help. And I’m very glad that he appreciates that I’m there to help him with those things that he’s not as good at. We make a great team.

My take on the whole matter is simply that every couple should find out what works best for them — regardless of gossip or other societal pressures. Personally, I look forward to the day when more husbands and dads can be the stay at home spouse without being called bums. My dad raised me while my mom worked and he was anything but a bum. It’s just what worked best for them since he had retired early due to health problems.

By: JB

JB — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:31:56 +0000

I wanted to add one more thing…

My wife, who stopped going to college a few years back, plans on not working when our 2nd child comes in March. However, she does plan on taking at least 1 or 2 classes a semester to slowly finish her degree while taking care of the children.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:07:01 +0000

I think this is a personal decision that only you and your DH can make. It is not only about finances, but about personality.

I deal well with stress and am better off working. I am actually pretty good at balancing working, childcare, household stuff, etc. I also have a husband that shares in the responsibilitis of childcare and household chorese. We cook almost every night of the week and we have a balance. Ask me again when baby # 2 arrives in April and I may have a different answer! LOL!

That being said, I could not take a few years off and reenter the workforce at my current salary. I also would have to keep up to date as my field changes all the time. Not everyone has an easy time reentering the workforce. Not everyone wants to though either. This is personal…good luck making your decision.

You can always change it if you don’t like the decision you made.

By: Debtfree2009

Debtfree2009 — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:54:12 +0000

I left my corporate career 14 years ago. There is no way I could go back into the field (chemistry/research). I have been considering doing something different once the 14yo is off to college but have no idea what.

I will say that I don’t regret staying home with my children but I’m going through that phase of “what in the world will I do” when the kids are gone.