This week was about questions that 20-something people often ask themselves and others. But a really important question I know my friends have asked me is, is it worth it to live alone? Of course it’s more frugal to share an apartment because you share the utilities, share the rent, share the space, etc. But you buy peace and quiet in living alone. So can it be frugal to live alone?
How do you make the argument that it’s worth living alone and without roommates? When is worth the money and when is it not? Is it ever frugal to live alone, or is it always a waste of money?
Most of my friends enjoy living with roommate for a few years after college. They enjoy the companionship, the camaraderie, and the built in people to hang out with. Also sometimes it’s necessary because you aren’t making a lot of money and have student loans and debts. So maybe you scrimp and save by paying only 50% of utilities and rent.
But then after a few years most of my friends got the urge to live alone. They begin to earn more money and suddenly they hate having to deal with the idiosyncracies of others. So they ask the question is it worth living alone?
I think in some cases it can be. Let me explain what’s happened to me personally and I know of. Once, my roommate bounced a check to the rental office and we were hit with late fees and potential eviction. I paid the remaining rent because I wanted to live there and she was forced to beg her parents for money. It really, really sucked and that settled for me the desire to live alone, but I couldn’t afford it back then. Plus she was a FRIEND so it was HARD to ask her for money and NAG. That’s another point, don’t move in with friends, it can be the end of the friendship.
My DH had a bouncing check but it was for utilities. So it wasn’t $600 out of pocket like me, more like $100. Still it was excruciating to chase after his roommate and nag for payment of the cable and electric bill. He was on it the bills because he had moved in first. Yuck! Bouncing checks can ruin the frugality of sharing experiences when your roommates don’t pay their bills.
A second personal experience, I’ve had a ton of crazy roommate. Two were clinically depressed and moved out to get professional help in an institution. One I’m happy to say is doing great, on medication, and came out of the closet and I’m REALLY happy for her. The other I’m not sure. But I had one roommate who liked to “date” strange men. Date = picking up men in bars. Anyway one night a man came to our apartment and was pounding on the door threatening my roommate with killing her and harming her. We called the police and hide in the bathroom. I moved out after that into my own apartment. Less drama. So sure it wasn’t frugal and I really couldn’t “afford” it, but I just could not take the drama of having roommates. By the way she paid her bills on time, but drama! So I made serious cuts on like no cable, internet, or home phone to afford it. A friend had a roommate threaten him with knives. He too moved out without a place to live because of fear of his life.
So I guess while it isn’t the most frugal move to live alone, sometimes it can be the more frugal option when you weigh in covering roommates who don’t pay rent/utilities, or the potential drama created by some roommates.
My advice to 20-something? Weigh what’s important to you and make it work. I cut eating out, cable, internet, etc to just pay for my own apartment. After 6 months I ended up with another roommate, but I married him.
What do you think about living alone, Frugal or Not?
14 responses so far ↓
1 Kristy // Nov 14, 2008 at 8:47 am
I think its not frugal to live along, more peaceful yes, frugal no.
2 SP // Nov 14, 2008 at 11:41 am
I don’t think it is ever frugal. Worth it, perhaps, but not frugal. It also depends on where you live. I lived in a really low cost area, and living alone wasn’t too expensive. In L.A., I pretty much can not WAIT to share rent.
3 Meg // Nov 14, 2008 at 11:54 am
It can definitely be frugal, but it depends on where you live.
In Manhattan, for example, it’s probably never “frugal” to live alone. Having a roommate could save you $1000 or more on rent, and it’s hard to recoup that cost if you choose to live alone no matter how frugal you are.
But in Abilene, TX where you can get a very nice one bedroom apartment for $400 a month, you might easily be able to recoup the $100 or so you’d save (assuming a 2 bdrm costs $550 a month) by NOT purchasing cable, using extra utilities, and other things a roommate might insist upon.
But even when it’s not cheaper financially, it can definitely be worth it! I’ve lived alone since I graduated from college, and it has been very good for me to have to be independent and manage my own time and lifestyle and space.
Plus I can watch whatever I want on TV, get the good parking spot, wear whatever I want around the house, and never worry about tripping over a roommate’s passed out boyfriend or listening to them have sex. Priceless, in some cases.
4 iram // Nov 14, 2008 at 12:24 pm
hi! i loved your post. i linked back to you on a post i did regarding the same subject. i constantly feel that my quest for frugality is negated if i dont have a roommate but after reading your thoughts, i feel very, very happy about my choice to live alone. its just not worth the additional drama sometimes. thanks!!!!
6 Meg from FruWiki // Nov 14, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Whether someone should live with roommates definitely depends on the situation. I don’t believe that frugality is about always making the cheapest choice. For me, it’s more about using (and conserving) your resources wisely to achieve your goals. Resources can also include things like your time, energy, and sanity.
My husband and I have had 6 roommates, some twice. Except for his brother, they’ve all been friends of ours. Sometimes it worked out well, sometimes it didn’t. I can’t say that we’re still close with all our ex-roommates.
I think the biggest mistake we’ve made was that renting our spare room as a “favor” and charging too little. I like helping an appreciative friend, and I really like having the extra company, but some roommates weren’t quite so appreciative and I started feeling like a landlord and maid instead of an friend. In those cases, the money was definitely not worth it.
We didn’t give up having a roommate, though. Our current roommate asked if she could move in before our last roommate had even figured out when/if she was moving out. It’s worked out well so far. The rent is reasonable for us all, I think, and after four months we are still all getting along very well. So, I can appreciate the extra money as well as the extra company.
7 fengshui // Nov 14, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Personally, I’ve only had roommates twice, while in college, for one year at a time. The first roommates were a group of guys when I was an undergrad, and I was the only girl, and it really was a blast, but I feared for my health sometimes because the house and especially the bathroom was so dirty. The second time I lived with 3 other girls in graduate school, and it was a terrible experience. I had absolutely NO privacy because it seemed like they were ALWAYS home, so if I wanted privacy, I holed myself up in my bedroom. There were always random guys spending the night, taking showers, using our phone/ computer, etc.
I then lived alone after that, and I enjoyed not cleaning up after other people. It was worth it to me to spend the extra $200-$300 a month for my own place, even if just an efficiency. My environment cleanliness and sanity are worth it!
8 Deborah Johnson // Nov 15, 2008 at 4:56 pm
While it may not be frugal to live alone, it has made me more frugal.
I am more aware of where my money goes and how much I’m spending because I live alone. There isn’t anyone to cover the bills for me if I screw up.
9 LivingAlmostLarge // Nov 16, 2008 at 8:36 pm
I definitely agree it’s likely not less frugal until your roommate doesn’t pay rent! Or bounces checks! Then it’s more frugal to live alone when you want hot water.
12 Small Budget Big Style Chick // Nov 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I am two years out of college. My first place in my first year of working was with two roommates. That experience led me to realize that living alone may not always be frugal… in my case it’s not, but for me, the peace of mind is worth it. My next roommate will be my significant other after we have dated seriously and are on a path that will lead to marriage. It’s just not worth the headache!
I am willing to live without a lot of things that I was forced to live with when I had roommates like extra cable channels I didn’t watch and really high energy bills because of living in a drafty house.
13 Brian E. // Nov 24, 2008 at 10:06 am
I think living alone is fabulous. It is also very expensive. My significant other lived with me for nearly four years and after the relationship self destructed two years ago I’ve been enjoying the peace and quiet. Just recently I decided to get a roomate once again 1) for the company and 2) to lessen the expense. I’m still a 20-something, but barely, and at first I thought it was ridiculous to get a roomate at my age. Now I’m thinking it makes a lot of sense.
14 LAL // Nov 30, 2008 at 11:51 am
Brian, I think roommates as you get older make less sense because you are trying to get into a relationship/settle down which moves fast. Also it can be difficult to “date” I think with roomies. But for men it’s easier than women.
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