Comments on: just because you can afford it…

By: LivingAlmostLarge

LivingAlmostLarge — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:11:48 +0000

I shouldn’t agree but yes my parents bought a specific teapot as well because they didn’t like mine. They didn’t like the one I had. Sigh.

By: Miss Thrifty

Miss Thrifty — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:59:48 +0000

My mum and stepdad are EXACTLY the same. I quite like it though. Last time they came to visit, they brought carrier bags of food and drink with them; they left me with a fridge full of bursting with expensive things that I would never normally buy. And a bottle of Tia Maria. I’m not complaining!

Mind you, my grandparents take it to a new level. They came to visit me last year and brought their…. own cups, saucers and teapot! I thought that was sweet though. They left the teapot behind, for next time.

By: LAL

LAL — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 14:31:12 +0000

Darn, I like that idea. Spread the wealth.

By: Hattie

Hattie — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:38:44 +0000

Well, I’m on the other side of this dispute. We are affluent, so when we come from Hawaii to Seattle to visit our kids we pay for everything. And just to put the cap on it, we bought a condo near them so we don’t have to stay in a crowded house with my daughter, partner, and kids. Not only that, but my daughter’s partner, who works from home, can use our place we aren’t there. It’s quiet and has wi-fi.
It’s true, some of us over 65 have done very well, thanks to all kinds of perks you younger folks didn’t get (practically free higher educations, for instance), so we believe in spreading the wealth, at least to our families.
We’re damn near perfect, I guess. Now why don’t my daughters see that??

By: LivingAlmostLarge

LivingAlmostLarge — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:00:27 +0000

I want flexibility in them. I would like them to not be so rigid and intractable. More reasonable that it’s not necessary to go shopping special. Sigh.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:09:20 +0000

I have the same problem… Our lifestyle is so different than our parents’ that it’s like an invasion when they visit. My MIL brought an entire party (plastic plates, food for 50, drinks, plus 15 guests) to our house for my husband’s birthday, then left all the food with us.

It wasn’t the waste (ok, that bothered me a lot, too) or the fact that they showed up unannounced (“is it okay if the two of us stop by?” and then 15 come). This is OUR house, we’re not children, and you need to treat us with just a touch of respect. If someone did this to them, they would be furious. But we’re just kids, so it’s okay.

Our food pantry doesn’t accept opened items. We froze what we could, and packaged all the unusable items (wasteful one-time use silverware, plates, food we don’t eat like soda, ect.) for the MIL’s house with a polite note – “We don’t use these things, and didn’t want them to go to waste. Thanks for the party!”

Lesson learned: Give in and go to their house. Enjoy and leave.

By: Janet

Janet — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:23:26 +0000

I don’t see anything wrong with visitors buying food. It’s their money – if they want to waste it by leaving leftovers with you, I agree that they’re being wasteful and extravagant, but again – it’s their money. I wish that would happen to me: my visitors tend to come, eat all my food, and never contribute a dime to the expense.

I try – and fail more than I succeed – not to get worked up about how other people spend their money.

By: Christina

Christina — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:14:11 +0000

If your parents leave behind a lot of unopened food that you won’t consume (diet cokes, boxes of cereal, etc) you could always donate them to a local food bank or homeless shelter. We did this after a 4th of July party this year when we realized that we were never going to go through the enormous amount of food we bought. Just a thought!

By: fengshui

fengshui — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:43:41 +0000

I guess that I am like your parents, where if I stay with someone, I always bring my own personal care items and “specialty foods” because I feel like I’m being “rude” if I use other people’s things, like shampoo, etc. I would think that it would be rude to stay with someone and eat all of their food and use their toiletries, etc. However, I see your point about them “wasting” money. But if they have it, why not spend it? I’ll never understand the type of people who scrimp and deny themselves things and then die with millions. I’ll never understand why people do that. I understand living frugally while on a fixed income, trying to pay off debt, but not when you’re very well off. ??

By: LivingAlmostLarge

LivingAlmostLarge — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:44:53 +0000

No, I think it bugs me because when they visit the other kids they never behave like this. They wouldn’t dare just waltz into the house and buy and do whatever they want. Mostly because it’s my mom and they have a different mom, so I know my MOM would kick my dad under the table if he whined about my brother or sister feeding him the bread they eat instead of eating what they want.

My parents are pretty healthy. I wish sometimes though my family would get that I don’t want to go through 4 open bottles of salad dressing after they leave. I don’t throw things away because of the guilt.

Deann, can’t do it. The guilt. It’s much like my DH and my in-laws. I pretend to be ill so I won’t deal with my MIL. She’s a good lady but sometimes.

I think this is why I prefer to visit them. Then I don’t have to deal with the craziness. By the way, I have to relax because when my grandma does it, it just doesn’t bug me as much. But maybe because my parents are double the amount.