How do you split assets when getting a divorced?  Especially when you don’t have a prenuptial agreement.  What is fair financially?  And how does it change if you don’t have kids versus having children?  Also does it matter if you are married long term versus short term?

I got two strange calls this weekend.  One was friend getting a divorce from a long term marriage without children and the other from a friend who has recently been gotten married but is getting divorced.  I have no idea where either of these divorces came from.

The woman in the long term marriage has been married almost 10 years and dating her husband almost 15 years, since college actually.  He just isn’t in love any more and wants out.  She isn’t sure what to do.  Financially they are doing very well, have lots of savings and they both work.  But she’s feeling despair over having wasted her 20s waiting to have kids until they bought the perfect home, had adequate savings, finished their graduate degrees, etc.  And now she’s left with money but no plan.

The second friend got married a lot faster and is now divorcing after less than a year of marriage.  They married after dating a few years and living together.  I guess they got married because they should, not because they really wanted too.  Expectations of everyone else and getting older.  Well turns out he’s been cheating for awhile now and she can’t wait to leave.  They aren’t as well prepared and she isn’t sure how to deal with their student loans, debt, etc.  Of course they bought a house to boot.

I wonder is there a neat way to deal with a divorce?  Is there a simple financial formula?  Does the lesser earner get alimony for a X number of years?  Do you automatically split all assets and debts?  Or does the length of the marriage influence these decisions?  That if one person owned a house before but the marriage lasts almost 10 years it’s community property?

I realize that it depends on the state laws.  However, is there a fair way to split finances?  Other than immediately getting your own checking account, credit cards, and savings, what else can you do?