I thought it was interesting to write about my family’s financial History. So I thought I’d follow it up with a few more stories.
My mom does not tithe though she is a baptized Catholic. I am not baptized and I do not tithe. My mom before I was born left organized religion and not looked back. Thus I was raised that being a good person and contributing to society is important.
So what does my mom believe in? She believes in giving back to the community and helping others. She believes that giving will always make you wealth, because an open hand always receives. Thus growing up we were pretty broke, I wore only boy clothes hand me downs for about 5-6 years because my Uncle had only boys and the clothes were free. But my mom didn’t want to take free clothes from Goodwill or Salvation Army because there were people who really needed it. We were broke, but we weren’t poor. She was making decisions to live very frugally so we could live within our means and save money. She made enough to support us.
But I think she still felt there was more to do. Perhaps it’s because of her career, social work. My mom believed in helping others out. She wouldn’t have been drawn to a career like that if she didn’t have a bleeding heart. Thus, my mom volunteered at the homeless shelter and elderly center. She took me with her once a month to participate in the volunteer work. This was to teach me to not be so selfish and greedy. That there were other kids who had a lot less than I did, and were grateful for any help they got.
I have to imagine that my mom’s time was worth more than the 10% tithe she’d be giving to a church. That she was directly contributing to helping others with going through a middle man or the church paying taxes on the money she “tithed”. Granted my mom could not have afforded tithing on a single parent’s income, but I know she did it for more than just monetary reasons.
So the lesson stuck. Stop being so selfish. After I left home, I never tithed. Still don’t. But I do give to my hand-picked charities. I also volunteer at specific charities. In college I would go with roommates who were becoming teachers and work with kids learning english after school. They always needed more help and it felt good, plus I learned a few words in spanish.
Then when we moved I began to look at different options. Currently I donate and volunteer at a food bank. One of my old neighbors was on the board, so I liked what I heard about it. They are always looking for volunteers to sit on the weekends and nights for donations. Yes it’s not a huge contribution, but I think I’m doing something.
The other charity I give to is a woman’s shelter. It makes me think of my mom, and I know if she were here she would be volunteering there helping women out of bad situations. I do go and volunteer there, again sitting and taking donations during set hours once a month. It makes me appreciate my life more and realize that while I complain about money, I have so much more than many other people. And I do not give 10% but maybe I can work up to it.
That every penny I grumble or complain about is a penny more than some people have. I think that what I gained from going to “volunteer” with my mom is invaluable and priceless. But it also made me more set against tithing and giving to organized religion.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Barb1954 // Aug 1, 2008 at 9:33 am
LAL wrote: “That she was directly contributing to helping others with going through a middle man or the church paying taxes on the money she “tithed”. ”
Just an FYI that churches in the U.S. are tax-free entitles. They don’t pay either property or income taxes. As such, the contributions they receive are tax deductible for the person making the contribution.
As a Catholic, I can also tell you that the Church doesn’t require tithing in the sense that some other Christian churches do, i.e. 10% of your income. Members of a church are asked to contribute to its financial support but even if you can only afford a small amount or cannot give anything, you can still be a member.
2 dogatemyfinances // Aug 1, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I should really post on my parents’ relationship with tithing. Their church did (and still does) publish a list of people who tithed. It was supposed to be secret, but it just resulted in nasty gossip.
I believe that many people tithe because of bully tactics like that from churchgoers and from clergy.
3 A.M.B.A. // Aug 2, 2008 at 9:12 am
I’m also Catholic and have never really understood the 10% tithing that other Christian denominations “command”. Ten percent is serious money. We have always only given about five percent or less to our church, along with other modest donations to our favorite causes.
If people are in debt, I truly believe one needs to clean up that first before donating money.
4 Angie // Aug 2, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I am a protestant Christian and I do tithe. We did not always give a full 10%, but it was our goal, because it is scriptural. In the churches I have gone to, we are encouraged to tithe (a word that literally means one-tenth), but no one knows how much we do or do not give. It has certainly never been a “command” by the pastors or board of elders. I worked on staff at our last church, and the giving numbers were so private that not even the pastors knew who was donating, only our accountant. As a church we knew how much had been given total, but knowing that we took in $3000 is different than knowing that the Smiths gave 200, the Jones gave 25, etc.
I give my time (what little I have with two small children) and my money because I have been blessed with an abundance and this is my way of thanking God for his gifts. It is an act of worship for my husband and I, not an act of fear.
The churches I have attended over the years have been involved in supporting women’s shelters, food banks, created community centers for latch-key kids, taught ESL to non-members (and non-Christians) and been involved in groups like World Vision helping to create sustainable farm communities in Africa. And yes, part of the money I give goes to pay the salaries of the men and women on staff. If that is not a good use of my money, I don’t know what is.
6 fitwallet // Aug 4, 2008 at 10:44 am
I don’t belong to any organized religion and don’t consider myself a spiritual/religious person. I do, however, believe in being a good person and a productive member of society. I’m a social worker and spend another 20+ hours per week working in animal rescue. This tends to surprise some very religious folks who can’t reconcile the fact that I am “going to hell” for not believing in Jesus, yet spend most of my waking life helping those less fortunate. I really confused a cab driver who tried to convert me on the way to the airport last year! Heh.
7 Jim ~ mydebtblog.com // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:08 am
The tithe or 10% of one’s income has always been an issue. Churches used to be the origins of tax collection purposes. Government now uses this idea and no longer taxes a church (although I think they should). We have the option to not tithe on our income, yet are required by law to pay our taxes. How much of your tax dollars go to help other people? I’d rather choose where I would like to give my money or time. Tithing is a personal choice in that we choose to follow it or not.
10 LivingAlmostLarge // Aug 7, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I think that giving money without learning what it means to give means very little.
I read NeedtobeDebtFree blog who tithes consistently. And yet I haven’t seen that his children have learned much from it.
They have no chores around the house, they don’t volunteer at the church or any other volunteer program. So what does tithing give them?
11 LivingAlmostLarge // Aug 7, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Oh and the Catholic Church in the early 80s made my mom feel bad for not being able to tithe while she was a single parent. That and getting “divorced” but fortunately she didn’t marry in the church. She was just looking for more support at the time.
12 Megan // Aug 8, 2008 at 9:17 am
I was also raised Catholic, and I give to the church occasionally, but not regularly. I used to attend a church that had a 70 bed homeless shelter in the basement. You could place money in the collection basket designated for the homeless shelter. I did that a lot. I also donated my time to the church as much as I could. But I prefer to give to hand picked charities as well. Sure, at some point, that hand picked charity might be my church. Just not always.
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