I can’t stress how important it is to have these conversations. When my dad died three months ago, my sibling and I were well prepared to jump in and help my mom. I ask her at least once a month how her investments are doing and whether she needs any money, too. So far, her income has been more than enough, but I want to make sure it stays that way.

At no time did we children not know or understand what our parents’ wishes were. Many years later – after I had graduated from college, my parents established a family trust so we could avoid probate. At the time the trust was established, there were the living wills, DNRs, pour-over-wills, and Power of Attorneys. Two children (my oldest sister and me) knew at all times the location of assets and where money was deposited, how much money there was, safe deposit box locations with sign-in capabilities.

Dying is very easy for the person who dies – it is difficult for those who survive and need to take care of all the paperwork. When Dad died 2.5 years ago, it was my mom and I who took care of the paperwork with the social security admin, his former employers for his pensions, the banks, etc. In all, it took about six weeks. Mom died on March 28 of this year – my sister and I are liquidating the estate according to the terms of the family trust – it is very easy – with the exception of Washington Mutual. If you have a family member with a terminal illness, have them remove their $$ prior to passing away because WAMU thinks it becomes their money and has trouble parting with it!

You are correct, mortality is an interesting topic. I was faced with it five years ago when diagnosed with a rare ovarian tumor. The gynocologic oncologist told me that his focus was to save my life and that I may never be pain free. At the time, we prepared for the worst and I went through the necessary steps with a will, DNR, power of attorney, etc., etc. Of the possible scenerios, I had a best case outcome. But I still struggle daily.

I had a troubling CAT scan last fall and am now taking morphine which has rendered me incapable of driving and a significant loss of specific cognitive skills (mostly having to do with math and numbers). As a result, I am not able to work and am now living on savings as I prepare to apply for long term disability. It is a strange place I find myself and invite you to read my blog and provide me with any ideas, insight, comments or wisdom you or anyone else may have for me and my journey.