At least for me, my mom constantly harps on how rich all these doctors are. How they are all driving new BMWs, Benzs, etc. They are able to build new houses, take expensive vacations, buy boats, etc. Then she follows up with, well if you did that well you could own all those things.
But the truth is, even if I were doing that well I’m not sure I’d want all those things. They are material possessions. I think I want to be able to retire early, volunteer instead of work, and potentially work at something non-lucrative.
But how can you deal with people encouraging you to keep up with the Joneses?
1. Goals - Tell my mom I have other specific goals. Staying at home with my children when they are young. Not needing to work after age 55. My mom laughs and says it’s impossible, but it can happen with some goals. You work for those possessions for what? So set goals for yourself, even if others think they are stupid.
2. Honesty - Explain to my mom that we have a mortgage and student loans. Hence we are unable to afford nice cars, clothes, fancy vacations. We unlike those rich doctors we are broke.
3. Appreciation - Do some charity work so we can remember how much we have compared to others. I particularly like the Food Bank because it makes me very thankful for being able to choose my food. Tell my mom I appreciate everything I already have because I feel already like a millionaire.
4. Acceptance - Accept that there will always be people making more and less money that you. That you might never reach the upper echelons of earning. But you make the best of what you do earn. Explain to my mom, well this is what I get paid because this is what I choose to do.
5. Splurge - Give yourself a treat. Sure it might not be a fancy car, luxury home, or exotic vacation. But it could be a latte at starbucks, new haircut, etc. So what if you aren’t the Joneses. You can be a slightly fun you. Then I can call and brag about my new haircut, shoes, or whatever to my mom and feel like a millionaire.
I guess it’s all about perspective. You can be jealous of what others have or just appreciate what you have.
8 responses so far ↓
1 TC // Apr 24, 2008 at 4:00 am
Well, and of course, all of those doctors aren’t really doing so well. Mortgaged to the hilt and paying for the rest of their lives for the image that your mom is buying into.
Meanwhile, you are truly living almost large.
2 dogatemyfinances // Apr 24, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Hahahaha, she must not know any doctors. They leave residency at 29-ish with 150K in debt. The ones I know worry constantly about that debt. They even borrow from family to meet minimum payments while in residency. No, thanks.
3 LivingAlmostLarge // Apr 24, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Not necessarily. Some walk out without bills because their parents paid entirely for medical school. And she knows tons of doctors and most don’t have loans.
A schoolmate of mine is a doctor now, her parents even bought her a condo and car for medical school. I doubt she can’t afford any lifestyle she chooses. So not all doctors are in debt.
4 Jim ~ mydebtblog.com // Apr 24, 2008 at 4:24 pm
There are doctors that don’t have loans and can easily afford a large house, nice cars, and things that are well within their income limits. Most of these people had to sacrifice early on though to get to that point. They had to do a lot more school than the average individual, whether or not they took out loans to do it. Another large expense doctors take on is malpractice insurance for greedy lawyers and people who file frivolous lawsuits against them.
I think there is this mentality of if you have nice things you must be wealthy. The image of the Joneses is always going to be one level higher than you. I don’t feel that I am in competition with anyone else, but we all have to make our own choices when it comes to how we manage our money.
5 Meg // Apr 24, 2008 at 6:13 pm
This post is so true. It’s difficult to know how to react when other people just assume you want a luxury car or plasma TV or expensive jewelry, whether you can afford it or not.
Imagine being a doctor and actually saving half your salary to reach goals such as the ones you mentioned, rather than buying expensive homes/trips/cars/etc. All your doctor friends would assume you are broke or blatantly ask “why not?!” when you aren’t spending lavishly. “You can afford it!!”
Though I will say that as a banker I look at balance sheets all day long from doctors, lawyers, and business owners. These people make hundreds of thousands - even millions - of dollars a year, but many of them are not nearly as rich as you think. Most of them do have lots of loans, credit card debt, and sometimes terrible credit. It’s truly amazing. We even had a customer get his porche repossessed! The guy makes $500K/yr and couldn’t make his car payments!
6 LivingAlmostLarge // Apr 24, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I bet there many people in many different fields who have porshes, but I wonder really who can afford it easily? Cash without blinking, and while they may finance it, they could pay cash if they really wanted to?
7 Mrs. Micah // Apr 24, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I’d be much more neurotic about a nice car (instead of a solid one which does just fine as a car without all the pricey attachments which would just make me worry) and I hate resorts and other such vacations. There’s two down..
Plus I wouldn’t want to be a doctor anyway, I work at a teaching hospital and those med students are paying for the future privileges.
If it makes them happy and they’re living responsibly, then I don’t necessarily disapprove. But there’s plenty of reasons not to be jealous.
8 frugal zeitgeist // Apr 25, 2008 at 2:54 am
I’d rather have one or two really nice things than a whole bunch of crappy things. I definitely appreciate the things I do have, and I would most certainly make a lousy doctor.
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